UNWILLINGNESS TO LISTEN..

THE FIRST IS THE PRACTICE OF EMPATHETIC LISTENING, AIMED AT UNDERSTANDING THE INTERLOCUTOR; THE SECOND IS THE CRYSTALLIZATION OF THOUGHT, AIMED AT THE TASK OF BEING UNDERSTOOD. IDEALLY, CONSCIOUSLY LISTENING, UNDERSTANDS THE  INTERLOCLUTAR, AND CONSCIOUSLY SPEAKING, CONVEY OUR OWN THOUGHTS IN A REFINED AND CLEAR FORM.
BOTH QUALITIES ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT, BUT  THE FACT IS THAT NO ONE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE UNDERSTOOD. EVEN IN THE COMMENTS ON THE AFOREMENTIONED ARTICLE, ALMOST EVERYONE SPOKE  AND ASKED QUESTIONS IN  THE FIRST PART OF THE TEXT, WHICH WAS DEVOTED TO THE CLEAR EXPRESSION OF THOUGHTS. THAT IS MOST  OF US WANT TO NOT ONLY BE SMART, UNDERSTANDING  OUR INTERLOCUTOR, BUT TO LOOK LIKE THAT, EXPRESSION OUR THOUGHTS BEAUTIFULLY AND EFFECTIVELY.

STEPS TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP..

fgdddFROM THE MEETING TO THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP,  THERE ARE SEVERAL STEPS. I’M TALKING ABOUT EMOTIONAL STAGES AND NOT DURATION:BECAUSE IN LOVE, THERE IS NO STANDARD OF DURATION… SOME PEOPLE WILL GET MARRIED AFTER ONE YEAR WHILE OTHERS WILL NEED IT AFTER TEN YEARS OF BEING A COUPLE. YOU JUST HAVE TO FEEL READY. DISCOVERY IS THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP. IN GENERAL, IT’S ALSO A TIME WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE: LOVE AND TRUST ARE BEING BORN, LITTLE BY LITTLE. THIS PERIOD ALSO HELP DEFINE WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP. IS IT A SERIOUS LINK, DESTINED TO LAST IN THE LONG RUN? IT IS RATHER A PASSIONATE RELATIONSHIP, STRONG IN EMOTIONS BUT NOT NECESSARILY BROUGHT TO PROLONG? IT’S SIMPLY ABOUT BEING IN AGREEMENT WITH YOURSELF AND WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS. AFTER THE DISCOVERY PHASE, THE RELATIONSHIP BEGINS TO MERGE EMOTIONALLY. THE FIRST COURSE, THE TURNING POINT. THE MOMENT WHEN BOTH PARTNERS DETERMINE THE NATURE OF THE BOND THAT UNITES THEM: LONG DURATION, SHORT RELATIONSHIP, FUN? THE DETERMINATION CAN BE EXPRESSED IN DIFFERENT WAYS. SOME COUPLES WILL VERBALIZE IT ( “I LOVE YOU, OR WITH LOVE MESSAGES FOR EXAMPLE), OTHER WILL CONCRETIZE IT WITH IMPLENTATION OR THE REALIZATION OF BIG PROJECTS-BABY, MARRIAGE, PURCHASE OF  A HOUSE… WHILE YOUR PARTNER SEES YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS A NON-SERIOUS, THERE WILL BE A DEFINITE LAG BETWEEN YOUR ASPIRATIONS. ARE YOU READY TO PUSH THE OTHER TO ADOPT YOUR VISION IN A RELATIONSHIP? (THE RISK IS THAT YOUR SPOUSE WILL PLEASE YOU, NOT TO HURT YOU, BUT DOES NOT COMMIT 100% AND GIVE UP AFTERWARDS.) ARE YOU READY TO WAIT FOR THE OTHER TO CHANGE YOUR MIND? (THE RISK IS THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENS AND THAT YOU WAIT IN A UNBALANCED RELATIONSHIP.)ARE YOU READY TO LEAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP TO FIND ANYONE WHO IS IN TUNE WITH YOU? ( THE RISK IS TO LEAVE TOO FAST: ITS POSSIBLE THAT THE OTHER SIMPLY NEEDS TIME TO ENGAGE.) OF COURSE THIS REFLECTION CAN TAKE PLACE IN THE OTHER DIRECTION: YOU CAN BE WITH A PARTNER WHO WANTS TO PUSH FORWARD THE RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU DO NOT FEEL IT TOO MUCH. WHEN THIS HAPPENS, IT’S TIME TO TAKE STOCK OF YOUR DEEP ASPIRATIONS!

WONDERS AND REGRETS..

HAVE YOU EVER MEET SOMEONE THAT WAS INTO YOU? BUT YOU WASN’T REALLY INTO THEM. BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM, EVENTUALLY THEY PRETTY MUCH GOT THE PICTURE? THE PERSON TOLD YOU HOW HE/SHE FELT AND STOPPED CONTACTING YOU? I WAS TALKING TO A GUY A MONTH OR TWO AGO. HE REALLY LIKED ME BUT I JUST DIDN’T FEEL THE SAME WAY. HE EVENTUALLY KNEW THAT’S WHAT IT WAS. HE SAID HIS PEACE AND STOP CONTACTING ME. BUT NOW, I’M KIND OF REGRETTING NOT GIVING HIM A CHANCE. I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT CONTACTING HIM AGAIN. HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE WITH SOMEONE? WHAT DID YOU DO? DID YOU LATER REGRET NOT GIVING THAT PERSON  A CHANCE AND CONTACTED THEM AGAIN OR THOUGHT ABOUT IT?

PAINFUL EXPERIENCES..

LOVE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE PAINFUL AT ALL.  YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH BUT THEY DON’T LOVE YOU AS MUCH. YOU LOVING  THEM ISN’T PAINFUL, IT’S THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW OR SUSPECT THEY DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY TOWARDS YOU IS WHAT’S PAINFUL. IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOVE AND WANT SOMEONE SO MUCH, BUT THEY DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY.  SOME PEOPLE WILL SPLIT WITH SOMEONE THAT LOVE THEM WITHOUT LITTLE TO NO EXPLANATION. PEOPLE THAT HAVE HAD THESE KINDS OF EXPERIENCES WOULD PROBABLY SAY “LOVE IS PAINFUL” BUT IN ALL HONESTY, THAT’S JUST NOT TRUE. LOVE ITSELF IS A POSITIVE THING. BUT CERTAIN EXPERIENCES CAN MAKE IT SEEM OTHER WISE. BUT THEN AGAIN, THIS IS MY OPINION.  BECAUSE THEY DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO TOWARDS THEM. SOME PEOPLE TEND TO NOT WANT TO LOVE ANYONE ELSE AFTER THESE KINDS OF EXPERIENCES. THEY BLAME IT ON LOVE AND SAY LOVE IS PAINFUL.  BUT REALLY IT’S THE EXPERIENCE THAT CAUSED THE HURT. BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK? DOES THIS MAKE SENSE TO YOU?sss