THE FIRST IS THE PRACTICE OF EMPATHETIC LISTENING, AIMED AT UNDERSTANDING THE INTERLOCUTOR; THE SECOND IS THE CRYSTALLIZATION OF THOUGHT, AIMED AT THE TASK OF BEING UNDERSTOOD. IDEALLY, CONSCIOUSLY LISTENING, UNDERSTANDS THE INTERLOCLUTAR, AND CONSCIOUSLY SPEAKING, CONVEY OUR OWN THOUGHTS IN A REFINED AND CLEAR FORM.
BOTH QUALITIES ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT, BUT THE FACT IS THAT NO ONE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE UNDERSTOOD. EVEN IN THE COMMENTS ON THE AFOREMENTIONED ARTICLE, ALMOST EVERYONE SPOKE AND ASKED QUESTIONS IN THE FIRST PART OF THE TEXT, WHICH WAS DEVOTED TO THE CLEAR EXPRESSION OF THOUGHTS. THAT IS MOST OF US WANT TO NOT ONLY BE SMART, UNDERSTANDING OUR INTERLOCUTOR, BUT TO LOOK LIKE THAT, EXPRESSION OUR THOUGHTS BEAUTIFULLY AND EFFECTIVELY.
Tag: Relationship
SPEAK OUT..
UNDERSTANDING THE OTHER PERSON AND NOT ASKING HIM/HER TO CHANGE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD NOT SPEAK ABOUT THINGS THAT HURT OR YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO OR HEAR. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE DESIRES FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND IT IS ESSENTIAL TO KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS THEM TO YOUR PARTNER- WITHOUT BLAMING HIM/HER. YOU CANT BLAME YOUR PARTNER FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING SOMETHING YOU DID NOT TELL HIM/HER. THAT’S WHAT I FIND MOST DIFFICULT TO DO IN MY RELATIONSHIP. HAVING TROUBLE ASSERTING ON WHAT I WANT, WHAT I LIKE AND WHAT I DON’T WANT. I WOULD LIKE MY COMPANION TO GUESS MY THOUGHTS AND DESIRES WITHOUT ME EXPRESSING THEM. EXCEPT THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE AND THAT IS WRONG SOMETIMES. RATHER THAN BLAME THAT PERSON I LEARN TO BETTER ARTICULATE WHAT I WANT.
HAPPY IN LOVE..
TO BE HAPPY IN LOVE IS TO ALREADY LIVE IN ACCORDANCE WITH YOU. ONCE YOU HAVE A CLEARER VISION, THE BEST SOLUTION IS TO TALK AND SHARE YOUR FINDINGS WITH YOUR PARTNER. ” I THINK.. I WANT TO.. I NEED TO.. SHARE BUT DO NOT ASK FOR AN ANSWER IN THE MOMENT: AFTER ALL, YOUR CONCLUSIONS ARE BORN OF A REFLECTION. DON’T TAKE THE LACK OF RESPONSE FROM YOUR PARTNER AS AN AGGRESSION OR AS AN ABSENCE OF FEELING: HE/ SHE MAY ALSO NEED TO TAKE STOCK OF HIS DESIRES. UNDERSTAND THE SINGULARITY OF THE OTHER. THE WORST YOU CAN DO IS COMPARE YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT OF A FRIEND. HE/SHE HAS HIS OWN WAY OF EXPRESSING THEMSELVES, OWN WAY OF SHOWING LOVE AND OWN PERSONALITY. OWN EMOTIONAL WOUNDS AS WELL. MAKE THE EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND THE SINGULARITY OF THE OTHER IS THE FIRST KEY TO MAINTAINING ONE’S RELATIONSHIP. IT WILL ALLOW HIM/HER TO FEEL FREE, UNDERSTOOD, AND CONFIDENT AND FULFILLED.
STEPS TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP..
FROM THE MEETING TO THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, THERE ARE SEVERAL STEPS. I’M TALKING ABOUT EMOTIONAL STAGES AND NOT DURATION:BECAUSE IN LOVE, THERE IS NO STANDARD OF DURATION… SOME PEOPLE WILL GET MARRIED AFTER ONE YEAR WHILE OTHERS WILL NEED IT AFTER TEN YEARS OF BEING A COUPLE. YOU JUST HAVE TO FEEL READY. DISCOVERY IS THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP. IN GENERAL, IT’S ALSO A TIME WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE: LOVE AND TRUST ARE BEING BORN, LITTLE BY LITTLE. THIS PERIOD ALSO HELP DEFINE WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP. IS IT A SERIOUS LINK, DESTINED TO LAST IN THE LONG RUN? IT IS RATHER A PASSIONATE RELATIONSHIP, STRONG IN EMOTIONS BUT NOT NECESSARILY BROUGHT TO PROLONG? IT’S SIMPLY ABOUT BEING IN AGREEMENT WITH YOURSELF AND WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS. AFTER THE DISCOVERY PHASE, THE RELATIONSHIP BEGINS TO MERGE EMOTIONALLY. THE FIRST COURSE, THE TURNING POINT. THE MOMENT WHEN BOTH PARTNERS DETERMINE THE NATURE OF THE BOND THAT UNITES THEM: LONG DURATION, SHORT RELATIONSHIP, FUN? THE DETERMINATION CAN BE EXPRESSED IN DIFFERENT WAYS. SOME COUPLES WILL VERBALIZE IT ( “I LOVE YOU, OR WITH LOVE MESSAGES FOR EXAMPLE), OTHER WILL CONCRETIZE IT WITH IMPLENTATION OR THE REALIZATION OF BIG PROJECTS-BABY, MARRIAGE, PURCHASE OF A HOUSE… WHILE YOUR PARTNER SEES YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS A NON-SERIOUS, THERE WILL BE A DEFINITE LAG BETWEEN YOUR ASPIRATIONS. ARE YOU READY TO PUSH THE OTHER TO ADOPT YOUR VISION IN A RELATIONSHIP? (THE RISK IS THAT YOUR SPOUSE WILL PLEASE YOU, NOT TO HURT YOU, BUT DOES NOT COMMIT 100% AND GIVE UP AFTERWARDS.) ARE YOU READY TO WAIT FOR THE OTHER TO CHANGE YOUR MIND? (THE RISK IS THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENS AND THAT YOU WAIT IN A UNBALANCED RELATIONSHIP.)ARE YOU READY TO LEAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP TO FIND ANYONE WHO IS IN TUNE WITH YOU? ( THE RISK IS TO LEAVE TOO FAST: ITS POSSIBLE THAT THE OTHER SIMPLY NEEDS TIME TO ENGAGE.) OF COURSE THIS REFLECTION CAN TAKE PLACE IN THE OTHER DIRECTION: YOU CAN BE WITH A PARTNER WHO WANTS TO PUSH FORWARD THE RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU DO NOT FEEL IT TOO MUCH. WHEN THIS HAPPENS, IT’S TIME TO TAKE STOCK OF YOUR DEEP ASPIRATIONS!
RECOGNIZE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP..
EVERYONE HAS THEIR VISION OF THE RELATIONSHIP. HOWEVER, THERE ARE SOME FUNDAMENTALS TO DESCRIBE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. IF YOU RECOGNIZE YOURSELF THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR OTHER HALF WILL BE HEALTHY. TO BE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS GOOD FOR YOU. THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. THERE CAN OF COURSE BE ANNOYANCES NUT THESE MUST NOT EXCEED THE JOY, WELL BEING AND HAPPINESS OF BEING TWO. SHARING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS ALSO ABOUT FEELING SAFE. TO TRUST THE OTHER PERSON AND HIS/HER LOVE. WHETHER YOUR COUPLE IS A FUSIONIST OR MORE INDEPENDENT. YOU LIVE TOGETHER AND YOU DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP FROM A DISTANCE, YOU NEED TO FEEL SAFE. IF YOU FEEL BAD, JEALOUS OR GUILTY REGULARLY, THERE IS A WORRY. IT’S UP TO YOU TO DETERMINE IF IT COMES FROM YOU- COMPLICATED LOVE, DIFFICULTIES TO TRUST-OR YOUR PARTNER-NOT REASSURING BEHAVIOR… ANYWAY OR WHATEVER THE REASONS, THE BEST IS STILL TO SPEAK ABOUT IT WITH YOUR PARTNER TO CLEAN UP THE RELATIONSHIP. NO QUESTION OF TALKING ABOUT LIBERTINAGE; FEELING FREE IN A RELATIONSHIP MEANS HAVING THE CHOICE TO BE WHO YOU ARE. TO HAVE THE POWER TO STAY YOURSELF. IF YOUR IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP YOU MIGHT FEEL COMPELLED TO CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY TO DESERVE EACH OTHER’S LOVE.
WONDERS AND REGRETS..
HAVE YOU EVER MEET SOMEONE THAT WAS INTO YOU? BUT YOU WASN’T REALLY INTO THEM. BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM, EVENTUALLY THEY PRETTY MUCH GOT THE PICTURE? THE PERSON TOLD YOU HOW HE/SHE FELT AND STOPPED CONTACTING YOU? I WAS TALKING TO A GUY A MONTH OR TWO AGO. HE REALLY LIKED ME BUT I JUST DIDN’T FEEL THE SAME WAY. HE EVENTUALLY KNEW THAT’S WHAT IT WAS. HE SAID HIS PEACE AND STOP CONTACTING ME. BUT NOW, I’M KIND OF REGRETTING NOT GIVING HIM A CHANCE. I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT CONTACTING HIM AGAIN. HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE WITH SOMEONE? WHAT DID YOU DO? DID YOU LATER REGRET NOT GIVING THAT PERSON A CHANCE AND CONTACTED THEM AGAIN OR THOUGHT ABOUT IT?
LONGED FOR..
HE LONGED TO BE IN HER PRESENCE JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LONGED TO BE IN HIS.
HE LONGED TO BE BY HER SIDE JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LONGED TO BE BY HIS.
HE LONGED TO BE HOLDING HER AT NIGHT JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LONGED TO HOLD HIM.
HE LONGED TO BE CLOSE TO HER AS MUCH AS MUCH AS SHE LONGED TO BE CLOSE TO HIM.
THEY LONGED FOR ONE ANOTHER, BUT THEY WAS SO FAR APART. MOST OF THE TIME THEY JUST WONDERED, IF THEY WOULD EVER BE TOGETHER.
